Have you ever dealt with someone filled with anger, at something you did? How would you deal with it? It would be easy to retaliate in anger and take a defensive posture. Another option is run in fear and never deal with the issue.
Here is a story of one such angry letter and its fallout. I am not going to say if the story is real or fiction. I will share that the following story has been tweaked for easier storytelling.
It was late summer when Nick received the angry letter in his inbox. The letter is from Beau and he is clearly furious and upset with Nick. This is the first time that Beau has ever written to him.
“What the heck is this,” Nick asked. “What did I do?” asked a puzzled Nick. As he continues to read the Beau’s letter, he is shocked at the level of anger.
Nick is upset because he had no idea of the level of anger and frustrations that Beau had towards him. Nick had sensed earlier that Beau is angry about something and sought to contact him. Yet, Beau never replied to any of my emails until today.
Beau has finally had it. This idiot Nick has been a major source of pain, for several months. Though the man had tried to talk with him, Beau blew it off. At first, it was just a minor annoyance.
“Perhaps the guy will get a clue by my ignoring him and go away,” thought Beau, in annoyance. Sadly, Nick never took the hint; he continued to reach out to Beau.
One day, Beau gets a letter with a phone # and an offer to talk. Suddenly, Beau’s pent up rage came boiling to the top and Beau exploded in anger and sent a reply to Nick. He’s finally had it with this idiot!
“You have no freaking idea of the hurt you’re causing my family and me! When it comes to personal information, you’re like bull in a china shop! You are terrifying the hell out of me and my family!” writes Beau.
Nick has been right. Beau is certainly angry and it boiled up to a much higher level of anger. There is just one problem. Nick could not quite figure out what he did wrong.
For he had no clue of the hurts that has been caused Beau and his family. Nick could have chosen to confront Beau, in a like manner. After all, he did try talk with Beau.
However, he thought better of it. For harsh words will only serve to stir up more anger and no one will be helped by it. Fortunately, Nick has another option. He knew just the person to talk with.
Nick asks the Holy Spirit, “What the heck just happened? What did I do wrong? Please help me to see Beau’s point of view because I’m confused and not seeing it.”
What is going on? How did this happen? Is there more to the story? Nick has been following Beau’s YouTube channel, for over a year.
Beau has a passion for creating beautiful works of art. Beau is also a born entertainer and encourager. Beau delighted in sharing his creations on YouTube.
With Beau’s sharp wits and a gift for encouraging others, he is a hit with many of his fans. For Beau, it’s more about entertaining his audience than a straightforward tutorial.
Nick had come across Beau’s channel, several months earlier. Though he’s not an artist, Nick is intrigued by what he saw in
Between Beau’s humor and flair for creating spectacular works of art, It was just as the doctor ordered. For Nick was going through a very emotionally rough time.
His mother has just suffered a serious stroke and she may not survive. Thankfully, the doctors were doing their best to care for her. The long ordeal lasted for several months and resulted in the woman being in a skilled nursing home with dementia.
When it comes to depression, a fear of rejection and anger, these are familiar territories to Nick. He was born with a serious hearing impairment and nearsightedness.
Though these physical challenges don’t cause depression; it is nevertheless a part of life some people with such disabilities. With God’s help, Nick has slowly learned how to overcome these issues of depression, rejection and anger.
Nick knew that other people have similar struggles and created a blog designed to help people. Nick is also no stranger to cyberspace and has an inquisitive mind.
You may think that once you overcome a struggle with depression than it doesn’t come back. Think again! Depression will continue to raise its ugly head until you learn effective ways of dealing with it.
Laughter is often good medicine and a good way to stave off depression and a release from stress. It is for this reason that Nick thought Beau’s channel would be of help.
Nick may not be an artist; however, he does like looking at the various artworks of Beau. Between this fact and a need for light comedy, it was a perfect match.
For reasons of privacy, there are many YouTube personalities who don’t use their real name. For some people, they would create a gaming channel based on a fictional character in a videogame or book. Other people may create a name based on a music band.
Beau had adopted a similar strategy; as he didn’t want everyone knowing his real identity. Unfortunately, Beau was careless with some very key information and left clues for anyone with an inquisitive mendset.
As Nick continues to watch Beau’s channel, he begins to pick up on some these clues. That is not the only thing. Nick also began to notice a growing similarity to his deceased father and Beau.
Nick decided to feed his curiosity and soon discover Beau’s real name. Though Nick is far from being a stalker, he knew that Beau’s carelessness could invite unwanted attention.
As such, Nick did attempt to warn Beau about his danger. Beau may have street smart; however, he is not too sharp in the technology area or how to apply his street smart on the Internet.
As for Nick, he may have technical smart; street smart is another story. You can also add not thinking before speaking to that list.
Over time, Nick did try to strike up a conversation with Beau, over Twitter, YouTube’s private message and email. He wanted to share his reasons for following Beau.
There is just one problem. Though Nick does know the Internet; he fails to take into account the flood of emails & tweets Beau gets. Beau’s public email account is flooded with tons of emails from a multitude of fans.
In spite of the overwhelming messages from his fans; Beau does see Nick’s emails. Only, he’s not entirely happy about how Nick conducts himself on Twitter and his YouTube channel.
One day, he does get a letter that he’s not entirely happy about.
“Wait! Who the heck is this? Oh yes, this is the idiot blurting out things he shouldn’t. Though this letter is overdone; he seems aware there is a problem. That’s good. He’s right on one point. We do need to have a talk!”
Unfortunately, Beau doesn’t follow through on that thought. He has too many other things to worry about. “Perhaps the problem will resolve itself,” Beau thought.
A few more months has passed and Nick is clueless of what he has done and Beau’s anger continues to grow. Nick simply knows there is a problem and he’s unable to address his carelessness.
Finally, Beau explodes in anger and tear into Nick in an angry letter. Beau is rightly upset with Nick because of his carelessness. However, his anger is out of proportion and it is blinding Beau, to his own blunders.
Beau had hoped that his letter would somehow scare Nick and cause him, to run away. He really did not know how to deal with this guy.
It never dawns on Beau that Nick didn’t see the problem of his knowing Beau’s name. For Nick, it seems that is all Beau is angry about.
Fortunately, Nick knew who to talk with and get some help with understanding Beau’s perspective. Yes, he had sensed God’s warning about Beau’s anger and thought to talk with Beau.
This time, Nick would need some help in processing the information and getting pass the initial confusion. He could tell that Beau did try to exercise some restraints; however, the letter still surprised and shock Nick.
As Nick prays, he feels an overwhelming sense of grief at what he has done. Nick is crying when he says, “I never meant to hurt Beau or anyone else. I feel like crap for what I’ve done.”
Nick thanks God for helping him to see Beau’s point. As a Christian, Nick knows that God has forgiven him and Jesus paid the price for his sins. However, there is more to it and Nick knew it.
He needs to ask Beau, for forgiveness over what he’s done. This task would not be an easy one. He soon discovered that Beau has blocked Nick on Twitter and his other social media accounts.
As for Beau, he is still angry and upset with this whole business with Nick. He’s not sure of what to do, so he decided to call a friend. It’s been some time since he talked with John.
John could tell that Beau is quite upset and offered to come over. This problem is going to take some time and it’s sometimes best to talk with a person, directly.
After Beau has finished telling his story, John considered what he would ask. In his heart, John is asking God for wisdom on how to help Beau.
A few minutes later, John asked “I understand that you are still angry with Nick. Frankly, I don’t blame you. What are you going to do with your anger? Have you thought of forgiving Nick?”
“I know that your grandfather was a pastor and it makes sense that you’d ask that question. It seems you didn’t nod off during his sermons,” jokes Beau.
“As for my anger, I really don’t know what to do. As for forgiving the guy, I am not ready for that. I am not sure if I want to,” says Beau.
With a gentle tone, John says “I realize that it may be difficult. Yet, you need to let go of your anger or it will bring you down. It may be that you’re thinking this will hurt Nick; it won’t.”
“You will only bring yourself and no one else. You will be the only person to suffer. That is why it’s important to forgive. Don’t hold on to that bitterness.”
Beau hears what John is saying; however, he is not ready to forgive. Besides, Beau is afraid Nick will get the wrong idea and think he’s off the hook or something.
So, he shares his concerns with John. Beau’s friend explains that Beau would not be letting Nick off the hook. Rather, Beau would be letting go of his need for retribution and inviting God to take care.”
“What about trusting the guy? Am I supposed to forgive, forget and blindly trust him?” asks Beau.
John could hear the hint of anger in Beau’s last response. He gently tells Beau that forgiveness is not the same thing as trusting someone.
“I’m not telling you, to trust Nick. He’s going to have to earn that one. Forgiveness is letting go of my anger and leaving it in God’s hand. You’re simply refusing to take ownership of something that will only drag you down,” answers John.
“I hear what you’re saying about my anger. However, I am not quite there. I need some time and space from that idiot,” says Beau
“If he contacts you then you should tell that to Nick. You’re not ready to forgive and you’re working on it. At the same time, he needs to give you, space. The best thing that he can do is pray and not bombard you with tweets and emails. Sooner or later, you should tell Nick that you forgave him. It will do both of you, some good.”
Beau is liking what John is saying and it makes sense. As it happens, Beau had checked his phone and sees that Nick has indeed sent an email and he’s asking for forgiveness. It seems he’s really sorry for what he’s done.
Following his friend’s advice, Beau tells Nick that he knows that Nick is sorry; however, Beau is still angry. It will take some time before he can fully forgive Nick.
In the meantime, Nick needs to take a low profile and keep some distance. This would help, a great deal. Nick agrees and says “Thank you and he’d pray for Beau.
It’s one thing to be angry if someone wrongs you. Be angry; however, you should not let the sun go down on your anger or let it fester inside of you. For such tactics will only create more opportunities for trouble.
Yes, Beau was extremely busy; however, he still had a responsibility to confront Nick. In this case, a neutral friend could have helped. By delaying the confrontation, Beau allowed negative emotions to creep in and color his perception of the situation.
For this reason, it is a good idea to quickly resolve the problem, forgive the person and let go. Nick didn’t initially know that he is doing something wrong. When he did sense, something was wrong, Nick did the right thing in seeking to talk with Beau.
Do not make the mistakes these guys made. Don’t let your anger blindside you into a path of self-destruction, for man’s anger does not bring about what you think.