What is “Acts of Service” and how is it a “love language”? Like the other love languages, it is not you doing something. Rather, it’s how the other person is receiving it. Yes, my mother’s love language is “Gifts”. It was her way of communicating appreciation or love. At the same time, she liked receiving gifts; as it is how her love tank gets filled.
For me, the “Acts of Service” love language is challenging for two simple reasons. It’s not my native love language and it is a matter of how I am receiving it. If I know the person and I have such a relationship then it is easier to receive the “acts of service” as an expression of love. If I don’t know the person then I have to take care and not see it as a put down.
People with physical disabilities are not the only ones who may be sensitive to receiving such expressions of love. It all boils down to trust and communication. Don’t worry, I’ll give you some ideas to help you. Let’s face it. Everyone desires to feel loved and appreciated and I’m certainly no exception.
If you are a word of appreciation type person then you will likely appreciate a kind word of appreciation from your loved ones. It will have a lot more meaning for you than anyone else. For the acts of service person, they will appreciate you helping them, with something. However, it needs to be something they are wanting; not you.
Here’s a good example that I got from this gentleman. His wife’s love language is acts of service and she appreciated it when he thought to surprise her, with cleaning her car.
His wife was thrilled that he made this attempt to do so. It meant the world to her. No, it did not have to be perfect. It’s just the husband making the effort. She filled his love tank by saying that she appreciated what he did.
Here’s the key. The act of service needs to be freely given and freely received. Otherwise, it will not be love. As with all the love languages, the need has to be communicated and the other person needs to be willing to do it. Coercion will only backfire.
If I am in love with someone then my own instinct is to ask “How can I be of help to you?” Though I’m not a gardener, I’d probably jump in and help. If her love language is act of service then she is going to appreciate my inept help with the chore of doing the gardening. At the same time, she may ask help with something like helping me with getting groceries. It’s here way of expressing appreciation or love.
Keep in mind, my love language is Quality Time. So, it is natural that I’d want to help with something she’s interested in. In this case, it is gardening. For a Word of Appreciation person, he will have to do more than say “Thank you and I appreciate you. It’s his action that is desired more than words.
As I thought of how to wrap up this blog post, this video from Albaner C. Eugene Jr. came to mind. I strongly suggest that you listen to this very short video. He brings up a point that is worth listening to.
Perhaps you’re a “Acts of Service” and experienced some hurt because of what someone else did or not do. If someone doesn’t respond to your request for help.
It could be for one or two reasons. It could be that it’s not their love language and they don’t naturally think to jump in and help. If so, they may not realize what you are asking. This is why it’s important to clearly communicate. The second reason has nothing to do with you. It could be that they’re broken inside or something else.
In both cases, it is important to do what this young man did. He talked with Jesus about the issue and chose to walk the path of forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to talk to God about what is troubling you. Let the Holy Spirit help you.
It’s time for a little housekeeping. I do want to thank you for sticking with this series. I’ve one more love language and it’s “Physical Touch”. Then I’ll be moving on to a new group of topics. I’m giving thoughts to Blake Healey’s book, Indestructible.
My goal is not to do book reviews. Rather, it is to discuss topics found in books related to the Christian faith and inner healing. To help with this, I joined Audibles Membership program. For me, it’s a lot easier to listen to a book then physically read it. I’ve also joined their affiliate program to help offset the cost. That is why you’re seeing the Audible Membership ad.
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