As I listened to the audio version of Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages“, I noticed the timing of my next blog post. At the time of this writing, Mother’s Day is two Sundays away. For my mother, she certainly had gifts as her love language. Though I’m not sure if it was her primary love language or secondary.
One thing is certain. My mother really did treasure the gifts that others have given her. At the same time, my mother knew how to give gifts. Though I don’t think she knew the full extent of what she’s doing. However, it’s in sync with what I learned about Love Language #3, Gifts. I’d like to share what I’ve been learning about this interesting gift.
Before diving into the idea of gift being a language of love, it would be a good idea to ask a question. How is it a language of love? People give gifts for many reasons and you would be surprised at the diversity of reasons. It can range from “a show of appreciation or honor”, “a tangible sign of celebration”, “appeasing anger”, “bribe” and “a show of love”.
Within the pages of Scriptures, you can find plenty of examples of each of the above. No, it doesn’t stop within Scriptures. It’s found all throughout history. For we all know the value of a gift that is given in sincerity. For the person whose love language is “Gift”, it is even more significant.
How so? Should I be worried if I don’t have a lot of money? Do I have to buy an expensive gift every week? Such questions would certainly be coming to my mind. Thankfully, there are some simple solutions and one that will surprise you. I, for one, am surprised to learn what may constitute a gift. However, there is something to point out before I dive in.
If you have “Gift” as your love language then please do not abuse your spouse with demands for gifts. If a gift is given by coercion or manipulation then it is done in love. You will only be creating an atmosphere of anger, resentment and possibly depression. For a gift to be given in love, it needs to be given freely and by that person’s choice.
How does one show love to a person whose love language is “Gift”? Ever heard of the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts!”? My mother loves cat and it made sense to buy her a card with cats on it. Thanks to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, I discovered that my mother’s love tank must have getting filled when she received such cards.
What if it is something she didn’t like? It would be seen as “You don’t have a clue or you don’t care.” This statement would be true of anyone with such a love language. If you don’t know then it will not hurt to ask. You can also ask that person’s relative or close friend. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The effort will mean a lot more than a botched gift given in sincerity.
Here’s a lesson that I learned from my old role-playing days and confirmed in Dr. Chapman’s book. The gift given in sincerity doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be the simple gift of a small pet dog. In my mother’s case, it would be a kitten. It can also be something you made in a ceramic class. Don’t be afraid to be creative!
I mentioned earlier that there is a gift that I didn’t know to be a gift. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the gift of your presence can be a priceless gift to your loved one; especially if “Gift” is the person’s primary love language. In an earlier blog post called “How to show love to a Quality Time person?” I shared the story of my mother and a hot dog.
Guess what? I was giving a gift more priceless than anything that Elon Musk could buy. What am I talking about? I gave the gift of my presence during those Thursdays at noon. I was giving her the gift of my presence during her final time with us. It didn’t matter that I fell asleep in the chair, a few times. Though she couldn’t say it, I sense my mother appreciated it more than I know.
I have to give thanks to Jesus for the strength and help in the caring of my mother. Yes, my mother had dementia and she was being taken care of, at the Pines. Yet, it doesn’t take away from the need for God’s help. I can’t help but be thankful for the gifts of help received from God and the many friends & families. What? Did you think gifts were just something bought on Amazon or Walmart? Think again!
Right now, you may be saying “That’s fine for you but not me. Why should God care about me?” Not so fast! God is no respecter of person. God is just as willing to help you in the same way that God helped me. Why? Because God is the embodiment of love. It’s right there with justice, mercy and compassion.
It’s because of love, God sent Jesus to die on the cross for you and me. It is so you and I wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of our sins. Because of love, Jesus took the punishment and paid the price for our sins. It’s because of this, we are given a choice to accept the free gift of salvation. Because of the idiot brigades, I will simply say this. Your sins are between you and God; not me or anyone else.
Go talk with Jesus about it and not this blog site. In keeping with the idea of gifts being a love language, it will help to know that salvation isn’t the only gift that God has for you. How does the gift of the Holy Spirit sound? How about healing and helping with forgiving others? It doesn’t stop there. Because Jesus promised to never leave or abandon us.
Talk about a priceless gift! As with any gift, it all begins with building a relationship and saying something about our needs. Yes, God already know; however, your loved ones do not know. Yet, they would both welcome you saying something.