Some Thoughts For Father’s Day

Father’s Day is fast approaching and it’s been on my heart, to write something. It sounds like a great idea; however, I am not a father. What shall I write? While I am not a parent; I do appreciate the value of a father, in a person’s life.  What brought this up?

As I am sitting here, I am struggling with a story to share. The story initially centers on a young man, whose father came to help him. The guy just brought a house and he needed to sound proof his YouTube studio. My friend was faced with the daunting task of doing it, himself.

Why did he not hire someone? My friend couldn’t find anyone, who is willing to do the work. As he prepares to take on the challenge; the young man talked with his father. Who is his dad? The man is the owner of a large construction company. Guess the busy business owner’s response?

In a video, the YouTuber says that he was blessed by his father’s willingness to help with soundproofing the one room. As I listen to my friend’s story, my heart is stirred up with an appreciation for what the father has done. My dad has done some similar things, too.

Why the above story? Why don’t I tell my own story? My father has passed away, fifteen years ago. My father was in the construction business, for years. He would have been a handy person to call and ask for help.

When I heard John’s story, my heart is filled with a mixture of sadness and appreciation. I am grateful that he has such an opportunity and I’m sadden by the feelings of grief that threaten to overwhelm me. As Father’s Day is rapidly  approaching, I gave thoughts to another sad reality.

Though I had serious problems with my father, I came from a loving home. From my friend’s stories, I suspect that he has a similar situation. We, both came from a relatively stable home, with two parents. Sadly, this is not the reality of many people.

Though I am not a father, I am certainly not clueless. In today’s society, it is very challenging; especially when you include the Internet and the easy access to drugs, alcohol and sex.  I do get it, in some ways.

It’s not my job, to preach or lecture; as there is plenty of it on the Internet and television. However, I would love to offer some suggestions that you may find useful. Here’s the first one.

Did you notice something special about the busy construction company owner? It’s early summer and the construction business tend to be quite busy, at this time of year. Though he is busy, the father took the time and helped his son.

Can you guess the subtle message being communicated?  My friend’s father is simply affirming that his son is more important than his busy schedule. Did I mention that the young man was moving far away from his family? For this reason, the offer of help took on special meaning.

My younger brother died, 22 years ago. It left a huge hole in the heart of my parents. Though I am saddened; it is not the same thing. If you are a father, then I’d encourage you to spend time, with your son or daughter. Children are a precious gift and you don’t know how long you’ll have them.

If you are a son or daughter, then I would encourage you to do the same. As adults, it is very easy to get busy with work, church or anything else. I am glad for the times that I spent with my father.  How so?

Time is a precious gift and it’s not one to be squandered on anger, bitterness or issues of unforgiveness. When I was growing up, my father was not an easy person to be with. Why? My dad was very opinionated and very critical; he never gave thoughts to what came out of his mouth.

With God, the Father’s help, I forgave my father and I let go of my anger and hurt. Because of this healing, I was able to enjoy my father. It was not always easy; however, I wasn’t alone. Jesus was there and he helped me, every step of the way.

If you’re reading this story and Mother’s Day is fast approaching, then I’d encourage you to read this blog story, anyway.  The story applies to both moms and dads. Heck, I am thankful that I still have a mother, to care for.

If you’re a single parent, then you deserve special honor; as single parents are often raising the children, alone. I have friends, who are single parents or they were raised by a single parent. So, I can easily imagine the challenge. It’s not easy and these folks are in need of help and support.

Did you see my earlier comment, about my father? Though my dad did not intentionally meant harm; my father’s words did just that. Imagine my surprise, when I read this verse, in my Bible:

20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. [Colossians 3:20-21]

The apostle, Paul is not a complete idiot. He understood the concept of a vicious cycle; even if the term did not exist. It’s hard to honor or respect our parents, when one is frustrated, hurt or angry. It’s why Paul covered both end of the cycle.

How did I deal with the above point of Paul? The answer is very easily given; however, it is anything but “easy”. I had to forgive my father and I needed to let go of the pain of hurts and rejections. I never claimed that my dad was perfect.

If you are willing, then you will find that God is faithful to help you through the healing process. What’s needed? I can only point you, to what I know has worked, for me. Don’t be afraid to ask Jesus, for help.

What if, you are a parent with young children? I am certain the above stories will strike a chord, for many people. Yes, time is fleeting and it’s why it should be seen, as a gift. There is something you should know, before I end this article.

As children, my father took his sons, fishing and canoeing. I can also recall going to Great Adventure, a couple of times and I did get to talk with him, about a few things. Do you see a pattern? As a child, my father invested his limited time with us. The same thing is true of my mother.  Because they invested their limited times with their kids; they reaped a reward in the long run.

Though I am thankful for YouTubers like Paul Soares Jr., BDoubleO, GenerikB and certain other YouTube entertainers. These guys have provided some comedic reliefs, through their videos and touched the lives of many young people. There is just one problem.

It’s not the job of the YouTubers, to raise your kids. It’s great when they model good behavior; however, children take their cues from one source-their parents.  There is an old saying:

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it. [Proverbs 22:6]

Though I had plenty of arguments with my parents and it seems that I was not listening. In reality, I was listening more time than my mother and father knew. In fact, I did get to tell my mother, about it. Can you imagine her surprise?

Years later, I would get people, who are surprised by certain conducts. “Your parents must have done, a good job”, they say. Where do you think I learned it? I did not learn it, by watching television. I was paying attention to my parents, both good and bad.

Don’t be afraid to talk, with your kids about the issues. They may be listening more times than you may think. With my mother, it was her approach that made it difficult to listen.  What can do, if they don’t want to listen?

There is a solution that does not entail pushing your kids, away. Some time ago, I read a fascinating story that may be of help. In the days of World War II, there was a young mother, whose son was involved in gambling. The kid loved betting on the odds.

When the war broke out, the young man sought to enlist in the Navy. The woman is a committed Christian and she knew about prayer. The young man was apparently lukewarm about Christianity and he wanted to do his own things.

The mother knew that she couldn’t control her son; he has to make his own decisions. She wisely stepped back and she took a different approach. What did she do? The lady literally stormed the heavens, with her prayers for the son.

The way her son tells the story; I am imagining a woman kicking doors open and going after her son, through prayers. Her prayers were not just about salvation; she also prayed for his safety and it’s a good thing! What do you think happened to the young man?

It’s the last thing that you’d expect! You’ll have to read the first chapter or so, of Abundant Blessings from My 60 Years of Ministering and find out. The first chapter reads like an adventure story. If you have a Kindle, then I would suggest getting it.

Even if you don’t bother with the book; you should know that there is definitely power in prayer. The kid did more than become a Christian. The man is very down to earth, in the telling of his story. How does an ex gambler become the patriarch of a large church? You’ll have to read.

It’s all due to a mother’s prayer for a wayward son. My Father has not changed! God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. Your prayer can make a difference in someone’s life.

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